Wholehearted Read online

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  “I don’t need any company. I’m fine on my own.”

  “I’m sure you are, but hospitals are boring. The one time I had to stay in one I thought I would lose my mind from boredom.”

  “I got TV.”

  “I see that. Anything good on?”

  “Oh yeah. Tons. Sonny’s just about to tell Jessica that he loves her.” Declan glanced at the screen. The images were all hazy with that cheesy filter all the soap operas used for filming.

  “Oh, you wouldn’t want to miss that.”

  “No, it’s a big deal. Jessica thought Sonny was dead, because he was hit by an exploding train, but it turns out that he was faking, and when he came back, he told everyone that he was Donny, who is Sonny’s twin, but it was him all along. And Jessica is all confused because she thinks she’s being unfaithful to Sonny by falling in love with Donny, but it turns out that they’re the same guy.”

  “Really?”

  “No. I have no fucking idea who these people are. I don’t give a shit about soap operas.”

  Declan laughed. “You’re already going crazy from the monotony.”

  “Maybe a little,” Lucas admitted.

  “Has the doctor been in to see you today? Do you know when you’ll be able to get out of here?”

  “Not yet. The nurse, Kim I think her name is, said the doctor should be stopping by sometime this afternoon, but she thinks I should be able to leave sometime in the next few days.”

  “That’s great,” Declan said, trying to mask the disappointment he hoped wouldn’t be evident in his voice.

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “Do you have a place to go?”

  “I’m going to call a buddy of mine and see if there’s work for me on the boat he’s on.”

  “Is that what you do? Fish?”

  “It pays the bills. The boat I was on before was a lobster boat. Tough work, but I’m not good at much else.”

  “Do you think you’re going to be able to work with your arm in a cast?”

  “I dunno, but I gotta. I can’t just sit around here forever.”

  Just then, a young man in green scrubs walked into the room, his lab coat trailing behind him at the speed of his gait.

  “Mr. Hale?” he asked.

  “That’s me,” replied Lucas.

  “I’m Dr. Pryce. Let’s have a look here.” The doctor opened Lucas’s chart and glanced through it, making small noises of approval as he read. “Looks like everything is healing nicely so far. You’re out of the woods for concussion, and although it’s going to take you some time before you’re back at 100 percent, you’ve made a good start.”

  “When can I get out of here?”

  “We’re going to keep you for another forty-eight hours, and then barring complications, and assuming you have someone to take care of you once you get home, we can release you.”

  “Uh, what do you mean someone to take care of me?”

  “You’re not going to be able to do much on your own for a while. Your dominant arm and shoulder were injured, so that alone will be an obstacle for you. You’re going to need some help for at least six weeks, maybe longer depending on how quickly you heal.”

  “So what you’re saying is that I need a babysitter?”

  “Essentially, yes. If you do not have anyone at home to help you, we can provide the names of some at home care nurses that you could hire during your recovery period.”

  “How much does that cost?” Lucas asked.

  “I’m not sure, but I can have someone bring in information for you to take a look at.”

  “Fine.”

  The doctor checked a few more things, asked a few more dull questions, and left as quickly as he had entered.

  “He must be a busy guy,” Declan stated, at a loss for what to say, but not wanting to sit in awkward silence.

  “I guess.”

  “You know…. I know we didn’t get off to a very good start, and I am pretty much a stranger to you, but I do have a guest room. You’re welcome to stay with me for a while if you need to.”

  Lucas just looked at him, his eyes narrowed in an expression that was a mixture of anger and curiosity. “Why would you do that?”

  “I dunno. I’m almost never home anyway. I work a lot. It seems like you need a place to go. I could help you with the little things day-to-day, like the doctor said. It wouldn’t be bad.”

  “You don’t even know me. You find me battered and bloody, and all of a sudden you want to be my best friend? My hero? My lover? What?”

  Declan tried to breathe in and out, to stop the blush that was creeping up, threatening to stain his cheeks. In truth, he wanted all those things, but he couldn’t let himself think about it.

  “No, you just seem like you might need some help, and if I can give that to you, I want to. It’s my job.”

  “It’s your job to take in stray men you find beaten in the street and have them sleep in your home?”

  “Well, not exactly…,” Declan stuttered. “Look, you want to or not? I don’t care much either way,” he lied.

  “I’ll be fine on my own. I don’t need your help.”

  “Fine.”

  “Fine.”

  Chapter 4

  THE NEXT two days passed slowly for Declan. Not sure what was going to happen when Lucas was discharged, he didn’t let himself get his hopes up that he might have the beautiful man living with him, albeit temporarily. Declan spent the rest of Tuesday at the hospital with Lucas, mostly in silence. Lucas didn’t seem to want to talk to him, and Declan couldn’t bring himself to push him out of his comfort zone.

  The next day he was back, and despite the scowl on Lucas’s face that greeted him when Declan walked in the room, Lucas didn’t get snarky with him and seemed at least to tolerate his presence. By Wednesday afternoon, both of them were going stir-crazy. Lucas was fidgeting incessantly lying in the hospital bed. There was nowhere to go and nothing to do, and they had to entertain themselves. Declan suggested a card game, but the suggestion was met with rolled eyes and a disdainful grunt.

  “All right then, no card games. What do you like?”

  “Nothing.”

  “You don’t like anything? At all?”

  “Nope.”

  “You must have a ton of friends, then,” Declan said.

  Lucas’s eyes got wide for a second before he schooled his expression back to one of mild distaste. “I don’t much like people.”

  “Well, I figured that out right away.”

  “No one’s forcing you to be here. In fact, no one actually wants you to be here.”

  “I wanna be here,” Declan said quietly.

  “Don’t know why. It’s not like you’re here for your job. I’m not stupid enough to believe your only reason for sitting here for two straight days is professional.”

  “Then why do you think I’m here?”

  “I have no fucking idea, man. I’ve been trying to figure you out since day one.”

  “Oh yeah?” Declan’s eyebrows lifted.

  “I mean, I don’t give a fuck if you’re here or not. I just can’t figure out why you’d wanna sit in a hospital room with a total stranger who has treated you like shit pretty much from the word go.”

  “I’ve been trying to figure that out myself.”

  “And?”

  “I dunno.”

  Lucas shrugged, the answer seeming to be satisfactory for now.

  “I like graphic novels,” Lucas offered at last.

  “Like comic books?”

  “No. Like graphic novels.”

  “What’s the difference?”

  Lucas rolled his eyes again and huffed loudly. Declan thought he must have pretty good ocular muscle definition from all the eye rolling going on.

  “Comic books are usually just part of a story. Graphic novels cover the entire story all in one book, so you don’t have to buy multiple books just to finish the story. Comics are usually for younger kids, where graphic novels, at least the ones I’ve read, are for adults. There is sex and violence and they are just way better overall.”

  “I see. Sounds interesting. What’s your favorite one?”

  “I dunno. It changes all the time. Last one I can remember liking was Son of the Silent.”

  “What’s it about?”

  “About this guy that was born in a necropolis, and he was just left there. He was taken in and raised by the spirits of the dead that were buried there. Since he was surrounded by the supernatural from when he was a little kid, even though he’s older now, he’s still able to see them. Now he lives in this big city where everyone is blind to what goes on around him, and he keeps the balance between good and evil spirits. He fights evil spirits and sends them back to hell.”

  Lucas’s eyes were bright. Declan could feel the excitement rolling off him. “That sounds pretty cool actually.”

  “Yeah, I haven’t finished reading it yet, but so far it’s awesome. I’m about halfway through I think.”

  “The next time I’m in a book store I’ll pick up a copy and try it out.”

  “You should,” Lucas said.

  Declan felt like Lucas was actually opening up to him a little. It felt good. Not so much like they were bonding, but more like Lucas didn’t rate spending time with him at the same level on the fun scale as having a colonic performed with lemon juice and turpentine.

  Progress.

  THE NEXT day, Declan was on day shift, so he wasn’t able to make it to the hospital until after work. By the time he arrived, visiting hours were just wrapping up, but the nurses hadn’t seemed to care about him overstaying his welcome. He was sure that was because of Kathy, and he silently thanked the plucky nurse.

  This time when he walked into Lucas’s room, he was greeted with a different
kind of attitude. Rather than being pissed off that Declan was still bothering him, Lucas actually looked marginally glad to see him.

  “I thought you’d be here hours ago.”

  “I had to work” was all the explanation Declan offered. He hadn’t added that he had taken a change of clothes to the station so that he could change without going all the way home first.

  “Oh.” Lucas sat up a little straighter and tried to see what Declan was carrying. “What’s in the bag?”

  “Books.”

  “Books?”

  Declan dug the duplicate copies out of the green plastic bag and tossed one onto Lucas’s lap.

  “Son of the Silent? You bought this for me?”

  “And for me. It sounded good, and you’re still prisoner in here for another night, so I thought you could catch up from where you left off.”

  Lucas didn’t say anything for a moment, just sat there staring at the dark cover. “That was really nice of you. Thanks.”

  Declan tried to hide the excited grin that was trying to burst free. Go figure that the guy busted his balls for saving his life, but spending seven bucks on a book got his gratitude.

  “You’re welcome.” Declan placed his copy on the table and pulled his chair up next to Lucas’s bed again. It was becoming more and more habitual to be in this spot, to be close to this man. As much as he hated hospitals, Declan was going to be a little sad when they discharged Lucas. It had only been a few days, but they had fallen into a routine of sorts. Declan would show up at the hospital, Lucas would scowl and act surly, Declan would sidle up beside him in the garishly bright vinyl chair, Lucas would pretend to ignore him, and they would sit together for a while before conversation slowly began to unfold between them.

  Lucas had opened up more than Declan thought he would, and he was grateful for that. Not that any of the information he gleaned would actually be helpful in solving the case, but it was helpful in allowing Declan to get to know him.

  “Anything good on tonight?”

  “Not really. They’re playing a repeat of a zombie movie on the space channel. I guess because it’s getting pretty close to Halloween, all the monster movies are on.”

  “You like monster movies?”

  “Some of them.”

  “You wanna watch the zombie one?”

  “Are you staying a while?”

  “I can stay as long as you like.”

  “Are you working tomorrow?”

  “Night shift. I should try to stay up late tonight to adjust.”

  Lucas nodded. That was all the reason in the world Declan needed to make the decision to spend one last night sleeping upright in that fucking awful chair. He didn’t know what would happen in the morning when Lucas was released. He had offered to have him come and stay, but the offer had been thrown right back at him. Several days had passed since then, but Declan didn’t want to bring it up again, not when they were finally getting along. Instead, he resigned himself to sitting on pins and needles, imagining every possible scenario as he watched people’s guts get ripped open and devoured on TV. He would just have to be patient, something Declan had never been particularly good at.

  DECLAN WOKE a few hours later to yet another stiff neck and the room cast in an eerie glow from the TV. The signal had long since faded, and the neon rainbow tinted the room a sickly green color. Lucas was asleep, his head tilted back and his lips parted slightly. He was beautiful even in the green light. His hair was sticking up all over the place, and his eyelashes created dark fans on his smooth cheeks. The days without shaving had given rise to light-colored stubble that covered his jaw. Declan stood and walked closer, taking in Lucas’s sleeping form. He just wanted to touch him, so very badly. Just once. He reached out and brushed Lucas’s hair across his forehead, smoothing it back into place. Lucas made a soft noise and turned his head, leaning into Declan’s touch. He fought the urge to lean down and kiss him. He knew that if Lucas woke up, he would lose all the progress he’d made.

  Declan flicked off the TV and sat back down, sliding his hands underneath his thighs. He wouldn’t touch him again unless Lucas needed him to. He could control himself. He was a grown man; he should be able to control his impulses. He sighed, knowing that he was lying to himself, and tried to go back to sleep.

  Chapter 5

  MORNING CAME before he knew it and the nurse was coming in to deliver Lucas’s breakfast.

  “Oh wow, another plate of dry-as-fuck eggs. Fantastic,” Lucas said sarcastically after the nurse had left the room.

  “Is the food no good here?”

  Lucas tilted his head and gave him a disapproving stare. “What the fuck do you think? Have you ever had hospital food? It’s bullshit.”

  “I’ve snuck a couple of bagels and muffins from the coffee shop, but I’ve been too afraid to venture into the cafeteria. You should eat, though. You need the calories.”

  Lucas looked underfed. Declan could see his collarbones protruding prominently above where the hospital gown fell across his chest. The smooth skin stretched over them made him hungry, and not for dry-as-fuck eggs. He’d been teased and tortured spending time with Lucas. Every time Lucas got up out of bed, the gown would bunch and gape, giving Declan glimpses of smooth skin over taut muscle. He wanted to rip the thin cotton off his body and run his hands over every rise and valley.

  After breakfast, the nurse came back in to take Lucas down for blood tests and X-rays. Declan stayed in his room and waited while he was gone, cracking open the book he had bought and reading the first few pages.

  Lucas was right; it was pretty good. Reading the captions and speech bubbles took some getting used to, as Declan had never been one for comic books as a kid, but the story was pretty enthralling, and having the imagery right there on the page made the story more intense.

  Lucas was gone for less than an hour before they wheeled him back into the room, and then it was even more waiting, until Dr. Pryce finally arrived just before noon.

  “How are we feeling today, Mr. Hale?”

  “Way better.”

  “Good. Your X-rays look good, it looks like everything is healing nicely. There’s no sign of infection or complications from the surgery. You’ll need someone to help you, but you are free to leave us today.”

  Declan kept his mouth shut, waiting to hear what Lucas’s response would be.

  Lucas looked over to him, and then back at the doctor. “I really do feel much better. I don’t think I’ll need any help. I’m going to be fine on my own, really.”

  “I appreciate that you feel better than you did before, Mr. Hale, but the truth of the matter is that you only have the use of one of your arms. Your bandages will need to be kept dry when bathing and changed until you are all healed up. You are going to be on painkillers, and although they are not as potent as what you have been receiving here, they will limit your ability to drive. You are going to need help. I’ve asked the nurses to provide you with information about temporary home care. Have you had a chance to look it over?”

  “Well, yes, but I’m not staying in the area, and I can’t really afford to hire someone….”

  “I see. Well, there must be a friend or family member who can help you.”

  Lucas looked back at him, something unreadable in his eyes. Declan wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing, but he couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

  “I told you before, I have a guest room, and you’re welcome to stay with me for as long as you need to.”

  “I really couldn’t do that.”

  Well, that was better than “no fucking way.”

  “Honestly, Lucas. It’s not a big deal. I have a house with lots of room. I live alone, and I work most of the time. I would be around to do things like bring home groceries and drive you to doctor’s appointments, but for the most part, I would be out of your hair.”

  Lucas looked like he was giving it serious thought, before he nodded once, curtly, and said, “All right, if you’re sure it’s not a hassle.”

  Declan wanted to jump up and down with excitement. He’d done it. He’d managed to get through to this guy and gain his trust, at least a little. Now he could work on getting Lucas to tell him exactly what had happened the day he was attacked.

  “I’m sure.”