Wholehearted Page 3

  He knew all about the consequences of coming out on the force. He was lucky that part of his record hadn’t made it to the Hope Cove precinct. Most things in life had a way of following you one way or another, and Declan counted his blessings every day that so far this didn’t seem to be one of them.

  He shuddered at the memory of the day people had found out about him. It wasn’t something he ever wanted to go through again, and as much as he wanted to pull Lucas to him and hold him close, he wouldn’t, even if Lucas had let him.

  He stood and left the room quietly. At the door, Declan turned to say good-bye, but didn’t expect a reply from Lucas, who had already rolled over, his back to the deputy.

  “I think he’s going to sleep for the night,” Declan told Kathy when he reached the nurses’s station.

  “Yeah, he’s probably going to be a bit worn out for a while.”

  “Yeah,” Declan agreed. He didn’t know what else to say. The staggering change in Lucas’s demeanor after Kathy had left the room had him reeling.

  “Did you manage to get any more information out of him?” she asked.

  “No. He says he doesn’t remember anything.”

  “But you don’t believe him?”

  “I’m not sure. It is likely that there is some memory loss there, but my gut tells me he’s not giving me the whole story.”

  “Yes, head injuries are unpredictable, especially when paired with traumatic situations. They can mess with memory, personality, language, almost anything really.”

  “Yeah, and I can’t exactly force the information out of him. I just wish he’d trust me a little. I really do want to help him.”

  “I know you do, hon. I am a pretty good judge of character, and what I’m getting from you is good. I know you don’t want to hurt him, but someone did, and trust probably isn’t at the top of his list right now.”

  Declan sighed again. “I’m just going to have to be a bit patient. It just… I can’t tell you how angry it makes me when something like this happens. It’s one of the reasons I love living in Hope Cove. You don’t get too many assault calls in a small town like that. People take care of their own there, but where I used to work, they were a nightly occurrence. I just couldn’t get away from the blood and the violence. It takes a toll on a person after a while, you know?”

  Kathy nodded.

  “I guess you do know. You probably see a lot of it, working in this department, yeah?”

  “My fair share. More than I would ever want to see, anyway. I will say this, though, most cops I meet aren’t as compassionate as you are. Most of them would be in, get the statement, and be back out before the patient was even fully awake. They go through the motions, but you’re the first one I’ve ever met that actually seemed to care about the victim.”

  Declan felt himself pink a little at the praise.

  “This one is different, isn’t he?”

  Declan tried to shrug off the question and change the subject. He didn’t feel comfortable examining his reasoning for still being at the hospital at three in the morning, to sit next to a man he had known for less than twenty-four hours. He wasn’t sure he would like the answer very much.

  “So you said that it’ll be a different nurse on in the morning?” he asked.

  Kathy just rolled her eyes. “So, that’s how you want to play this? Yes. Kim will be here in the morning. I’m off in”—she glanced at her watch—“three more hours, and then the day shift starts.”

  “Can you leave a note for her to give me a call when Lucas wakes up? I want to see if I can get him to tell me anything else about the attack.”

  “Sure, hon, no problem. Are you going to head back to Hope Cove?”

  Declan thought about it. He didn’t want to wake Mack and Oliver by calling in the middle of the night just for a ride. “Actually, do you know of a hotel close by that I could stay at for the night?”

  Kathy thought about it for a moment. “I think there are a few hotels on this block that I’m sure would have rooms, but if you’re planning to be here again first thing in the morning, it seems a waste to rent a room. It’s been a slow night. I’m sure we could set you up in one of the rooms for a few hours. I know it’s not the most comfortable bed, but it would save you having to track down a hotel room at three in the morning.”

  “That would be great, if it’s not too much trouble,” Declan replied. He was tired. He’d slept a little in Lucas’s room, waiting for him to wake up, but it had been a long day and it was starting to catch up with him.

  “No trouble at all.” Kathy checked the computer. “There is only one doctor on tonight, and he’s not working a double. Both beds in the resident’s room should be empty if you want to sleep there.” She stood and motioned for him to follow her. The room next to the nurses’s lounge had two sets of bunk beds in it, reserved for hospital staff.

  “Here we are, home sweet lumpy bed, and it’s all yours for the next three to four hours.”

  Declan shot her a grateful look. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You don’t even know me.”

  “I know enough to know you’re a good person who probably works too hard and deserves a break.”

  “I’m not so sure, but I appreciate it anyway.”

  “Well, just keep me in mind when you’re naming your firstborn.” She winked at him. “Good night, Declan.”

  “Good night, Kathy.”

  She flicked off the light and shut the door. The room was disturbingly quiet. Hospitals were never this quiet. He’d been around enough to know that there were always machines, always someone awake. The silence was eerie. He pulled the thin blankets up closer around himself and tried to think of other things.

  Every time he shut his eyes, all he could see was blood. He saw the thick red liquid that had radiated into a gruesome halo around Lucas’s prone body. He saw the dark red staining the clothes Lucas had been wearing as it seeped from the hole in his gut, and he saw the letters, so much more profane painted in blood next to Lucas’s body.

  Declan breathed deeply in and out, reminding his addled brain that Lucas was fine. A bit of an ass, but fine. He closed his eyes and a few minutes later, he was asleep.

  Chapter 3

  THE NEXT morning, Declan awoke early. His back was aching, and his mouth felt like he’d spent the evening french-kissing roadkill. He was gross and sticky. Spending all day and then sleeping all night in your uniform was a surefire way to feel awfully disgusting come morning. He rolled out of bed and stretched his cramping muscles. He realized he took his bed at home for granted. As soon as he got back, he planned to remedy that.

  He surveyed the room, noticing a doctor asleep on the bunk across from him. Declan snuck out of the room as quietly as possible.

  Lucas was still asleep when Declan got to his room, so he took his spot in the orange chair to wait. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Mack letting him know that he would be back in the office later that day. He wanted to run a background check on Lucas and see if the CSU had found anything at the crime scene. He wasn’t getting his hopes up too high. He knew there were no witnesses, and often the unit in such a small town didn’t have the resources to conduct as detailed an investigation as some of the larger cities. No harm in checking things out, though.

  He leaned forward and picked up a magazine before sitting back and propping his feet up on the table. He didn’t read magazines, but waiting around had gotten a little old, and he didn’t want to stay idle all day. It was better than nothing.

  He’d made it almost all the way through an article about banishing cellulite when he caught a slight movement out of the corner of his eye. He tossed the magazine back onto the table and sat up straight so he could see if Lucas’s eyes were open.

  “What the fuck are you still doing here?” Lucas demanded, his voice still groggy from sleep.

  Declan guessed that meant he was awake.“I told you I would be back in the morning,” he replied.

/>   “You didn’t say—” Lucas looked at the glowing green numbers beside his bed. “—seven fucking oh seven in the morning.”

  “I wanted to see if you remembered anything else.”

  Lucas looked indignant. “Nope. You can go. Thanks for stopping by, officer.”

  “Lucas, look. I know this is hard.” Declan got up from his chair and stepped forward to stand beside Lucas’s bed. “I know it can be scary to give information to the cops and not have any idea what we’re going to do with it. You might think there is some way that whoever did this to you will find out, and you’ll get hurt again. I promise I’m not going to let that happen.”

  Lucas’s blue eyes were wide enough that Declan could make out the darker ring that ran the circumference of his irises. “You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about, man. I told you. I don’t remember anything. Now, can you just go? Please? I’m tired, and I can’t sleep with you over there staring at me.”

  Declan knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere with this today. He needed a better understanding of who he was dealing with. Maybe if he could find out who this guy was, he would be able to broach the situation from an angle that Lucas could understand. It was worth a shot.

  “Okay, I’m going to go. I will be back later, though. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. And in the meantime, I meant what I said about you calling me. Anytime, day or night, I don’t mind.”

  “Whatever,” Lucas said again. Declan was beginning to think it was Lucas’s favorite word.

  Declan left Lucas’s room and took the elevator back down to the main floor. He stepped outside into the sunlight. He recognized Mack right away, sitting in his cruiser, talking on the phone. Declan walked over to him and leaned in the passenger’s side window.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I wasn’t going to let you take a cab home. It would have been way too expensive. I know for a fact that your boss doesn’t pay you enough for that,” Mack said with a little wink.

  Declan grinned and climbed in the car. “Thanks for coming,” he said.

  “What are friends for?” Mack replied, putting the car in gear and steering it out of the parking lot.

  THE DRIVE back to the small town seemed much shorter than it had in the back of the ambulance. Declan and Mack chatted amicably about work, Oliver, and Oliver’s new business partner, Haydn. It seemed like things were going really well for the new couple.

  They had almost reached the station when Mack finally asked the question Declan had been waiting to hear since they left the hospital.

  “So you wanna tell me what’s going on with this guy?”

  “There’s nothing going on.”

  “I’ve never seen you so spooked before. Granted, we don’t deal with a lot of heavy crime in Hope Cove, but as green as you are, you were never one to lose your head over any situation. What’s different this time?”

  “I didn’t lose my head,” Declan protested.

  “I thought you were going to have a full-blown panic attack if you hadn’t been able to ride in that fucking ambulance, Dec. You wanna try again?”

  “I dunno, Mack. This call was just different. It just got to me. I don’t know how to describe it. You’re right. I lost my head a little. I’m still trying to figure out why. Your guess is as good as mine, though.”

  “Well, you’re lead on this case, but I want you to tell me if you don’t think you’re up to the job. No one’s going to think any less of you for passing it off or asking for help if you have to.”

  “Thanks, but I’ll be fine. I just need some sleep and a cup of real coffee, and I’ll be good to go. I swear.”

  They were pulling up to the station parking lot. Declan’s cruiser was parked in its usual spot.

  “You going to head straight home?”

  “No. There are a couple of things I want to look into first, but then I could use a shower and a nap.”

  “Okay, well, don’t work too hard. And remember what I said. If you need help, just ask.”

  “Thanks, Mack.”

  Declan got out of the car and headed into the station, pausing to say hello to Lisa as he entered. He hadn’t been there nearly long enough to have his own office, but his desk was tucked in the corner next to a window. He liked his space, and it was tidy and organized just as he’d left it.

  He booted up his computer and read the case file that Mack’s other deputy, Scott, had put together for him after he’d left for the hospital. There were crime scene photos and a written description. There hadn’t been a weapon found near the victim; it had likely been taken with the perpetrator or thrown into the water. The inventory of injuries seemed much more severe written on the page in black and white, each one punctuated by a bullet point. Declan breathed in and out, trying to tamp down the adrenaline that was at risk of bursting through and setting off another roll of his temper. He needed to keep a clear head if he had any hope of figuring out who had hurt Lucas.

  Without a weapon, there would be no fingerprints, and although they weren’t yet finished combing through everything, it didn’t seem that the CSU team from Ellsworth had found anything else at the scene. Jake was a nice guy and a good cop, but Hope Cove just didn’t have the technology or resources for a proper analysis. Declan had faith in his abilities, though, and knew that he would be able to track down the asshole that had hurt his Lucas.

  His Lucas? Really? He was fucking losing it. He didn’t have time to think about the weird connection he felt to the man. He needed to get his head on straight and focus on what he needed to do.

  He turned to his computer and pulled up the software he needed to run Lucas’s name and date of birth. The search came back quickly with no record of criminal activity, not so much as a parking ticket. The guy was squeaky clean.

  Declan scrubbed his hand down his face. This was going to be difficult. He had no leads, nothing to go on, and an uncooperative victim. If he wanted to get this case solved, he was going to have to crack Lucas in order to do it.

  He shut down his computer and tucked the case file under his arm. It was after noon and he still hadn’t showered or changed.

  DECLAN DROVE home as quickly as he could and started stripping his clothes off the moment the front door closed. He felt disgusting. Walking into his bathroom, he cranked the hot water on as high as it would go and then stepped under the spray.

  It felt so good to have the scalding water pounding down on his skin. He felt as though he was washing away the stress and anxiety of the last twenty-four hours, and he watched as it swirled down the drain and away forever. The heat and steam closed in on him and made him feel loose and relaxed. His eyelids began to droop. He was so fucking tired. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for the next three days.

  After twisting the faucet off, Declan grabbed the white towel that hung on the rack next to the tub. His body was still damp as he crawled between the sheets of his bed. They were so unbelievably soft. He didn’t think he could stay awake for another minute. Pulling the heavy blankets up over himself, he nuzzled into his soft pillow and before he knew it, he was out.

  IT TOOK Declan a few minutes to pull himself from sleep. He was still tired and very groggy. Sleep had come quickly, but his dreams had been turbulent. He realized he was thinking about Lucas again. Declan knew he should stop—that he should try to distance himself from the case. Creating space between his feelings and the black-and-white nature of the job he had to do was going to be difficult, but it would be worth it in the end. The emotional image he had of Lucas that lived inside his head didn’t match with the full-color real-life version he had encountered once Lucas had regained consciousness. It would do no good to build him up into something he wasn’t.

  Declan needed to get a grip. He lay in bed for a few more minutes, feeling the weight of the blankets on his body, and trying to clear his mind. He wanted to think about things from a different perspective.

  Throwing the covers back, Declan shivered at the chil
l that hit his bare skin as he walked to the closet to pull out fresh clothes. Although he wasn’t technically on duty until the next day, he thought he would go back to the hospital anyway and see if Lucas had decided to give up any new information. There wasn’t much progress to be made on the case without it.

  He pulled on a pair of jeans, soft from years of wear, and a thin cotton long-sleeved shirt. Shoving his feet into a pair of socks then shoes, he next threaded his arms through the sleeves of his brown leather jacket, and walked out of the house to his car.

  Pulling out onto his street, Declan made a left and then a right before he merged onto the highway toward Ellsworth. While he drove, he tried to come up with a game plan. He hoped showing up in civvies would make Lucas a bit less angry. The guy seemed to have a problem with cops.

  He finally arrived at the hospital and pulled the car into the visitors’ lot. Pausing momentarily at the gift shop, he wondered if he should bring something for Lucas, but decided against it. Somehow, Declan didn’t think a teddy bear or a bouquet of flowers would be very well received.

  He entered the elevator again, and when the doors opened, he walked past the nurses’s station. There was a girl he didn’t recognize sitting at the desk—Kim, he guessed—and he walked right into Lucas’s room.

  Lucas was staring at the TV but didn’t seem to be watching it. He turned his head when Declan entered. “You again?” he asked. This time there was less distaste coloring his voice. He just sounded tired.

  “Yup. I told you I would be back to check on you.”

  “And I told you I don’t remember anything.”

  “Doesn’t matter. I thought I’d just keep you company for a while. If anything should happen to come to you, you can tell me.”